Wow! If you know me, you know I love to write. But lately, I was feeling uninspired and unmotivated to write. But, God has given me a topic. Probably a bit of a touchy subject in these times, but here it goes.
Death. It’s inevitable. Yet, people are so fearful of it. It can happen quickly. It can happen slowly. It might be painful. It might be painless. You might get to say goodbye to loved ones. You might not.
There is so much fear today because of COVID 19 and death. Did you know, heart attacks are the number one killer in the world? Also, you are more likely to die in a car accident than something such as COVID?
As a believer, I’m not scared (okay, maybe every now and then moments of fear arise-but then that thought is captured and replaced with truth).
When I found out a member of my church, who lives 2 minutes from my house, was infected, it really put the virus into perspective. It really made me think about my life. Yet, I still have so much peace. I know that the Lord is with me (and my family at home) in every situation, even if I would contact the virus (or they would). I know that I’m supposed to be here in Kigali, Rwanda supporting the beneficiaries and staff of Hope Rwanda, friends I’ve made, and the neighboring community.
Want to know something? Before I left to come back to Africa, I was setting up my tent in my living room (to make sure I remembered how to set it up! I had used it only once on the race). I had this slight moment of panic—what if I get sick while in Kenya (I don’t know the host super well (yet!)) and end up in the hospital all alone? I quickly replaced it with God is always with us, He is Emmanuel. He won’t leave me.
Today, people are isolated. They are unable to visit loved ones in the hospital. People are locked down in their homes without human interaction. But, God is still with us. He has never left your side. I’ve been reading through Exodus, and think about the Israelites in the wilderness. They felt abandoned. They felt lost. Sometimes God has to take us on a journey to awaken our hearts and souls. He doesn’t promise that this life will be easy or painless, but he promises to walk beside us in the journey (John 16:33)
I’ve been spending a lot of time in prayer, a lot of time reading the Bible, a lot of time listening to sermons, and a lot of time listening to worship music. The song “The Heart of Worship” has been so powerful to me lately.
When the music fades and all is stripped away, and I simply come. (Reminds me of Jesus calling the disciples… they left it all behind…. And then with the virus, a lot has been stripped away… going out, church, friends, family….. but God is still there and simply wants us to come to him…not as a fan, but as a true follower)
Longing just to bring, something that’s of worth That will bless your heart (In this time, I want to still be used. I want to be a vessel. I just want to give myself and bring kingdom glory. I can still message people or video and encourage through messages of HOPE and TRUTH!!)
I’ll bring You more than a song For a song in itself Is not what You have required (I’m committing myself to you, Lord (all of me), because when I do that, you will establish my plans. You don’t just want my actions; you want my heart)
You search much deeper within through the ways things appear. You’re looking into my heart (God knows my heart. I don’t have to have it all together. I don’t have to perform. I don’t have to be the best at anything. I can stop comparing myself to others: their gifts, their abilities…God sees my heart and knows my intentions, my thoughts, and my love for him.)
I’m coming back to the heart of worship, And it’s all about You All about You, Jesus (Thanks for taking me on this journey…step by step you are leading me, guiding me, and pulling me back into what it looks like to love you)
I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it When it’s all about You It’s all about You (Take myself…idols…whatever it may be off the throne and put Jesus back on it!)
King of endless worth. No one could express how much You deserve (You sent your son to die for my sins, for my mistakes. I didn’t deserve it, yet you loved me anyway. How could I ever express my praise and gratitude?!)
Though I’m weak and poor. All I have is Yours Every single breath (Breath… the reason I’m alive is because of HIM. Nothing else in life matters. If I’m weak I can boast in Him. If I’m poor, I look to God for provision. I have no need to worry. He is the only one who will satisfy…. I need to put my focus back on him.)
So when everything in life is stripped away…entertainment, jobs, family, friends, food, security, church…where is your foundation? Where is your hope? Where does your strength and help come from?
Yes, this season is hard. Yes, losing people is difficult. Yes, being in isolation and lockdown feels cruel. But in all of this, there is hope and a future. Our world is broken. But God doesn’t want you living in brokenness, He wants you living in His fullness and goodness. So He sent His son Jesus, to die a grueling death for YOU and for ME! He was raised from the dead and fulfilled everything written in scripture. All you and I have to do is believe this. Accept it. And confess the need for a savior. Then turn from old habits and thought patterns. Put the focus on God (declare God! Literally—the definition of worship!) and live in that abundant life!
When you are truly living for Christ and not the world, death won’t scare you. Fear won’t take you captive. Because you know that to live is Christ and to die is gain (Phil 1:21). You know you have a place in God’s eternal home (John 14:2). You know you are loved beyond all measure (Eph 3:19).
May you carry the peace that passes all understanding with you today and every day!
