These three words have been eating me up.
They feel like defeat. But, I know it’s the enemy.
Let’s rewind. In June, I was supposed to head off to Uganda. With a rise in COVID cases, and the new Delta variant rampant, lockdown quickly happened and ministry opportunities became slim. I made the decision to cancel my flight and extend my stay in Kenya. I was granted a 2 month extension, which I was grateful for.
Ministry opportunities here were high. I went back to Kitale with my host family and quickly jumped back into ministry–working on the website, making more videos and newsletters, and going to Turkana to collect information on girls who need sponsors. Then, helping to plan for a medical camp in Pokot and participating in the medical camp last week. It was and still is obvious God had good plans for this time.
During some down time, I researched places to go to leave East Africa so I could come back on a new visa (you can’t stay more than 6 months without leaving East Africa). Closed door. After closed door. After closed door. Tears. After tears. After tears.
So, I’ve made the decision to come home. I’ll be spending a few weeks in Florida first with my beloved coaches from the World Race. I’ve been thankful for their continued mentorship even after the race, and I’m looking forward to seeing them in person! I’ll have some rest while there and rejuvenation for the soul.
Then, I’ll come home for another 2-3 weeks and spend some time with my family and regrouping to head back to Kenya at the END OF SEPTEMBER. There are still things to do in Kenya.
I’ll then come back home again with my original flight on December 3rd, but plan to head back to Kenya again early January. Of course, these plans are with open hands–we know God has the best plan and I will continue to seek His will above my own.
I know this isn’t defeat, it’s just a door I didn’t expect to open and walk through at this time, but maybe even a blessing in disquise. There have been tears, but I know soon the mourning will turn to joy and I’ll keep pressing on.
I posted this on facebook a few weeks ago when a memory came up about my fundraising t-shirts, but I’ll post it here for those who don’t have facebook.
Three years ago my fundraising shirts came in and I was preparing for a trip I had dreamed about for years. Little did I know how much of a kingdom impact it would have on my life and where I am today.
If I’m honest, the journey hasn’t been easy. Some days are filled with sadness from the stories you hear and the situations the people are facing. Days go by where I think “what more can I do?” Sometimes I face people on the streets begging for money and wonder if I did the right thing just greeting them and passing by this time….
There are times when my souls longs for tight community, and an English worship session (especially with my S squad peeps) and for someone to pour into me, instead of me pouring out to them.
There are seasons of highs and lows… deserts and Garden of Eden’s. Gaining friends; and losing friends. Losing family and friends at home due to death. Missing out on big life events and small family occasions. Closed door after closed door, after closed door, and I wonder why? “I thought I was called here.”
My beliefs have been tested and tried and have made me question things about the church and Christianity.
But, God continues to be faithful. He continues to sustain me.
And some days are beyond my wildest dreams. Love poured out, hope reignited, and smiles upon smiles upon smiles. It’s the small things like a hug, the tears of someone you just prayed for or blessed, and the testimonies of God at work that help me press on.
This isn’t the life I imagined… the life of a missionary.
It is hard and rocky but also lovely and beautiful. It’s paradoxical. I’ve been angry with God but it’s also pulled me closer to my Abba. I can’t face a single day without Him. He is I AM and that trumps everything in life.
Thank you to all of you who have supported me financially, with words of encouragement, and most importantly prayers. Of course, this journey couldn’t be possible without YOU!
Thanks again to all of you who have helped me be the hands and feet of Jesus and trusting me with this call on my life. I know God is faithful. And I know there is still a call for me to “GO”. There is KINGDOM work to be done.
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps His covenant of loving devotion for a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commandments. Deut 7:9
As I’ve mentioned before, this is calling so I will continue to support raise over the years. A huge thanks to those who have supported me financially–one time and even monthly. I’m grateful.
Interested in donating?
My Venmo is @kelly-fahnestock
“This isn’t the life I imagined… but He is I Am and that trumps everything.” Amen!!
Press in & Press on. Love you Kel!
I’m so proud of our Kelly! It’s been such an honor watching you step out into faith season after season. You’ve been a constant reminder of why it’s so important to listen to the calling placed over our life. God loves you more then you can understand and is aware of your longing to serve Him. Listen closely to His voice and you walk out His purpose over your life. You fully known and loved by the One who writes your story. Love you friend and I’m thinking/praying for you.
Amen.
Press in & Press on!
Amen. Thanks so much Joseph! Can’t wait to hear about your latest trip too!
we’ve got to get together sometime during those 2-3 weeks that you will be in PA! Shoot me a text when you’re in FL and we can organize!!
Praying that this is that time of pouring back into yourself and that Jesus ministers to you while you’re back in the States. I am encouraged by your determination, you got this girl!
Don’t feel defeated. God is making you stronger for the next journey he has planned for you! He truly is in control.
He’s got the whole world in his hands!!
Will do Shelly!
Thanks girl!!!
Kelly! So good! He has plans for you! (So do we.) We are so encouraged by your dedication, perseverance and tenacity! Remember, this IS the Journey. God brings us through the mire so we can be inspired! See you soon!
AMEN Jackie!!
Thank you for your continued support! Can’t wait to see you in church!
Thank you for your continued support. I’m looking forward to being with you and Darla for a bit!