Click to Find Out My Love Language!

Myers Briggs, Enneagram, Love Language… Welcome to the WR—where you hear about these ALL the time.  Hi, my name is Kelly.  I’m an ISFJ (Defender), 2 wing 1 (maybe another blog to come explaining this), and my love language is….

Hm, coming on the race I would have absolutely said that my love language is words of affirmation.  If you’d ask me now, end of month 7, it would for sure be quality time, with words of affirmation and physical touch coming in next.

What’s the big deal you may say?  Knowing someone’s love language helps you support, encourage, and value the people placed in your life.  It honestly helps you know them so much better.  Want to know yours?  Take the test! There are 5 different categories: Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Quality Time. 

Acts of Service: Doing things that you know the person would like. Cooking a meal, doing the laundry, doing yardwork…they require some thought, time, and effort. They are done with positivity and not out of obligation or with a negative tone. 

Receiving Gifts: Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.  The perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for and appreciated.  Something as simple as picking up their favorite candy bar after a long week can make an impact.  Forgetting a special occasion is hurtful.   

Words of Affirmation: Verbal compliments don’t have to be complicated; the shortest and simplest praises can be the most effective.  Unexpected notes, texts, etc. that are genuine are meaningful. On the other side, negative or insulting comments can be hurtful and take this type of person longer to forgive. 

Physical Touch: Feeling affection through physical touch…hug, back scratch, playing with hair, a touch on the shoulder.  Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love.

Quality Time: Undivided attention and focused conversations.  No TVs, no smartphones, or any other distractions.  Spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.  When time together is postponed (long stints without talking or seeing each other), or the other person isn’t “present” during the time, it can be hurtful. 

I’ve been noticing how relational I’ve become on the race.  Don’t get me wrong, I still highly enjoy my alone time, but that uninterrupted quality time with one or two others helps me THRIVE.  I could sit with someone just listening to stories, catch up over ice cream, take a hike with a friend, chat over dinner, talk on the phone (say what?! I hate talking on the phone…but if it’s meaningful…important…it’s all good), play volleyball together, have a family/friend game night….the list goes on…and nothing extravagant, but wholesome time together.

I’ve made so many friendships on the race and there has been so much quality time.  It’s getting harder and harder to leave each country…I know it’s because I’ve loved well and have been loved well by others. 

Before coming on the race, I was packed ahead of time. Each country I keep progressively put packing off until later and later and later.  Say what?!  I know! 

I’ve also had this strange desire to spend time with the locals and not do adventures…in Rwanda, I went on a hike with a friend and spent more time with the ladies at the place where we were staying.  I’d rather spend time with them over an adventure.  I almost didn’t do rafting on the Nile because I wanted to stay back and just hang out with people… I came on the race wanting to see so many things, but I’ve now realized it’s ok to not do those things and build relationships.  Yes, these are once in a lifetime things…but these are also people I care deeply about!  It’s been a struggle.  So, as we get ready to head out again, and the goodbyes start, my heart is breaking…but it’s okay. 

Thankfully there is technology…thankfully we are brothers and sisters in Christ.  God is good and I thank him each day for the ability to love and be loved.  This life wouldn’t be worth it any other way. 

I was able to meet up with some of the gang last night for a final goodbye!