A Father To The Fatherless

Part of Hearts of Hope (HOH) includes doing house visits with the women who will be in the new class.  They have gone through three interviews and then get a call that they would like to be talked to again.  A huge group of mzungus (a name given to foreign people typically of white colored skin) and a member of the Hope Rwanda team then come and talk to her one more time and inform her that she has made it! 

The most powerful reaction so far has been full out tears and sobbing that she made it into the program, which in turn made all of the HOH team shed some tears as well.  As we sit and talk with the women we are visiting, we read Psalm 139 to her. We ask her if any verses are powerful to her or how the passage makes her feel.  Next, we share scripture, words, encouragement, etc. with her (what God is revealing to us…what she needs to hear). 

Many have lost fathers or have been abandoned by their fathers, mothers, and families.  Some are single, some married, some left behind after a marriage or relationship gone rogue (left to take care of kids by herself).  Some abused in the past.  Some abused presently.  Some used as slave labor and being starved.

I knew a lot of these women coming into this program have been hurt.  I didn’t realize how mentally and emotionally exhausting meeting with these women could be.  I mainly thought of these women being hurt by men and mostly through the sex trade.  However, on our first day, two of the women were upset by the loss of their father’s abandoning them. I was not ready for this.

The first woman we visited, started crying during her introduction at the mention of never knowing her father.  I got to pour into her by talking about being hemmed in with God. (Ps 139:5).  A hem is intentional.  It forms an edge or a border around something.  It encloses something so it is contained.  Most importantly it prevents unraveling.  Sometimes in life we feel like we are out of control.  We feel like we are slowly unraveling…slowly falling apart…slowly falling into pieces.  But God promises us that when we accept Him as our Savior that we are hemmed in.  He won’t let us go and we can look to Him when we think we are unraveling. 

The next woman was abused by her husband and had strength to leave, even with three kids.  I was able to pour into her by reminding her that she was wonderfully made.  Wonderfully means distinct, marked out, distinguished, made to produce with an effect.

The woman that I connected the most with this first day was the third woman we visited.  When I looked at her outside our van window upon arriving, she looked strong.  She looked fierce.  As her story unraveled about abandonment from her father, bullying at youth group because of a lack of father, I felt her pain more and more.  When we got out of the van to go to her house, we always greeted the woman.  She had held onto my hand a little longer.  And when she started sharing, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her.  I wanted to let her know that she was cherished, loved, seen, and known.  Even though our stories were completely different, I felt this huge connection with her of losing a father.  When it was my turn to share, I told her I wanted to hug her first before anything and we did. And she sobbed.  Then I shared Romans 8:14-18 with her. That she was a child of God.  She was a co-heir.  That in her pain she should call out to her “Abba Father”.  And most importantly, that these sufferings are temporary and eternal glory is going to be beautiful. 

These women have suffered.  Statistically, fatherless children grow up with more deviance.  They are more likely to get involved with drugs and alcohol.  They are more susceptible to harm.  Thankfully, we were able to give these women some hope and encouragement.  They received the words spoken over them and are looking forward to joining the tailoring school where they can learn skills for a brighter future (for themselves and their families) and also be surrounded in love.